Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I'm Starting to Worry

Ok, I don't know if it is just me, but I'm starting to worry that Edward might be planning some type of evasive action regarding my dog. Edward is still under the delusion that Derek is a werewolf and despite my efforts to make him understand that Derek is harmless, Edward is still very cautious of him. Which you can see here.

I asked Edward why he was standing like that and he told me, "Well, I can tell by the werewolf's expression that he is very irritated by my close proximity and my smell so close to him. So keeping my back to him gives me the quickest way of escape in case he lunges at me. It is mearly a safety precaution." For some reason, I had a gut feeling that Edward wasn't telling me the whole truth. He looked to be more on the offense rather than the defense that he was claiming. However, I decided to question him further in asking if he thinks that perhaps Derek seems uncomfortable because Edward is a natural preditor and all animals tend to be distant from him. Edward's reply? "That would be very convenient, but no." Edward knew I wasn't buying his excuses so he tried to distract me with a pleasent but "necessary" discussion about my safety with Derek. It was one of the strangest one sided conversations I have ever heard.

"Derek, I wish to discuss with you your plans for keeping our human free from peril today...........Well, I think that it's a very important issue............It is both our jobs, not just mine.............You needn't worry during the day, I will be with her at work..............No, I guess it will not interfere with your nap, and anyway, your nap is not as important.........Oh really?..........I am disgusted at your apathy of the situation. How can you not care about her safety?................I don't care that you are hungry.................No, I haven't seen your squeaky toy.............In the evening, like always.............I don't know, chicken maybe...............Yes, I will be in the car today...............The neighbor's cat? No................That's inappropriate.............You were already outside 10 minutes ago...............I didn't take your squeaky toy................Perhaps under the couch............No, I will not look for you............Because it is not my concern, the human is!.........Enough!! I will just watch over her myself. And you're supposed to be some great protector? Poor excuse for a werewolf."
Edward then approached me telling me he was ready to leave for the day. I asked him how his conversation with the dog went. Edward said,"He is so incompotent. He has a complete disregaurd for your safety. Right now his main concern is cheese and obtaining a substantial amount of it." Well, you know Edward, most dogs really like cheese. That comment got me a heated glare.
Even though, Edward has Vlad now, and can understand why I like having Derek, his feelings toward him have not changed. I'm starting to get worried that Edward is planning something and I don't like that. He is definatly keeping something from me. I noticed that Edward is around Derek a lot more, but not in a good way. More like a sneeky way. Like Edward is being really observant of Derek and his routine. I didn't start noticing it until I took a picture of Derek one day. When I downloaded the pic to my computer, I noticed something disturbing.

I didn't even know Edward was in the room! After this I started observations of my own and sure enough, Edward is lurking. A bit stalkerish. Maybe I shouldn't be too surprized. I mean, I've read the Twilight Saga. This is definalty a character trait of his. I'll have to figure out a way to defuse it before he gets out of hand and something bad happens. But how?.......

2 comments:

TooMuchCoffee said...

Edward's conversation with Derek was too funny! LMAO

rubiesymusica said...

I love your dog, his name and the convo Edward had with him. Too funny.